This is a long one because I have lots to say on this topic
in fact I could probably write a book; maybe I will one day, but for now let's
first start with misconceptions of dieting. I was sharing recently some of the
misconceptions I had when I was a little kid I quit eating fries at McDonald's
to go to Baked Apple Pies yes very strange. I would eat biscuits and gravy for
lunch in Middle School and Frito Pies and again I thought this was good for me
I did not understand the difference and all the additives and how bad this all
was for my body. I have been active my whole life and in sports. I ran cross
country in Middle School and played soccer in High School. I am not really sure
when this all turned around I went from not really focusing on what went into
my body to stressing about everything that went into it. I started working out
my Sophomore Year of High School and my Junior Year of High School I was
diagnosed with an eating disorder where every time I ate I would have to
exercise to feel better sounds practical, but unhealthy because it was an
obsession. I had a Nutritionist and a Psychologist and I was not a fan of the
Psychologist at all I felt like he was trying to diagnose me instead of help.
The Psychologist told me that this was the one area in my life that I could
control so I did. This theory was based on having to deal with my parents
fighting and feeling helpless. The Nutritionist was more comforting though she
told me to take your biggest fear and multiply it by 3 and that is how I felt
when I ate. This is how she explained eating disorders to other people. I was
also doing a little modeling so I am sure that this did not help my self-
image. I remember thinking in school one day how is this person eating M&Ms
and still thin? Yes sometimes I still think this way no judgment just have
to work really hard to stay thin, but definitely worth it carbs are not my
friend more on this with the Paleo diet. I did get through the eating disorder
although yes I will always have to be careful and my husband keeps me on my
toes since he knows my struggles. In College I lost 20 pounds my Freshman
summer yes I lost weight instead of gained by doing Herbal Life protein shakes
and was not heavy by any means just never been what you would call one of those
thin girls always had muscles. Calories in calories out makes sense right, but
the problem is I was not eating enough. I remember logging my food for a gym
class on the pyramid and it had 3 Slim Fast bars for the day hmm yeah
definitely not healthy, but it felt good to be thin. The major problem was I
would not eat all day, but then I would binge eat when I drank and then go run
in the morning. It was a constant guilt. A couple of years after college I
realized because of the protein shakes I did not know how to eat normal and I
felt bad for eating real meals. I had to teach myself when I was full and what
portion size I needed for my body. This was not an everyday struggle just a
realization looking back. So with all this said what has changed? Honestly I still
struggle, but what really changed in my life with the relationship with food is
when I went through Yoga Teacher Training. It changed my life in more ways than
one. I can't explain it, but something just clicked the awareness of it is okay
to not eat perfect every day and you make a choice and live with your choice.
It taught me balance with food. I realized what I was doing was a tit for tat
system basically punishing myself. I know when I overeat I still don't feel
good, but I am aware of my choices and I do it consciously. If I have desert I
acknowledge that I enjoyed it and I do not have to feel guilty I chose to eat
this. I still have my weaknesses and have to watch my alcohol intake. We all
know alcohol makes us less aware of what we put into our bodies; right? A drink
or 2 is fine, but know your weaknesses. I know that if I do drink it takes my
body awhile to recover to get back to its healthy state so I find myself
wanting to go through that process less and less. I currently follow a Paleo
way of life which is no processed foods, no dairy, no grains, and no legumes.
This diet is based upon eating wholesome, contemporary foods from the food
groups our hunter-gatherer ancestors would have thrived on during the
Paleolithic era, the time period from about 2.6 million years ago to the
beginning of the agricultural revolution, about 10,000 years ago. These foods
include fresh meats (preferably grass-produced or free-ranging beef, pork,
lamb, poultry, and game meat, if you can get it), fish, seafood, fresh fruits,
vegetables, seeds, nuts, and healthful oils (olive, coconut, avocado,
macadamia, walnut and flaxseed). More on the Paleo Diet in the following blogs,
but it works for my body. I eat foods in the natural state they come. I am not
perfect when it comes to food, and I still struggle it is not that I do not like other
foods I have learned that my body cannot handle it. I still drink protein
shakes and still have new ways to try to lose weight. I guess the truth is I
like the feeling of losing weight, but as my husband says some people are just
meant to be a certain weight. I will never be stick thin without being really
unhealthy I realize this, but it will probably always be in the back of my mind. Find something that makes you happy life is a balance do not let
anything define you. I work out because I love it, and it will always be a part
of my life; find healthy in your life.
